No. 4: Memes
Because memes are a love language <3
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
This is about to sound so millennial of me, but I believe memes have become a love language. Sometime after the advent of the internet, we realized the power a photo and some text have to communicate deep niches of humor and personality within mere seconds, and we haven’t turned back since. There are dark memes and dank memes and dog memes. We use memes to analyze pop culture in the group chat (the number of Will Smith slap memes that materialized by the end of Oscars night was incredible). We laugh at the Minion ones mom post, follow accounts that post ones attuned to our acute interests (Gay memes sun, Corgi memes moon, Taylor Swift memes rising), and scroll through them mindlessly amidst our social media feeds. There are entire positions designed to sell you things through their easily digestible format. I can’t wait to see one on my future kid’s DBQ APUSH exam.
I’d argue that in twenty-something dating, there’s a meme phase. Sending a meme to a crush implies a certain level of interest and recognition of likeness. It’s also a great way to sus out someone’s sense of humor and your compatibility. If it’s a meme you’ve already seen, you’re both probably on the internet too much. If it’s too raunchy, they probably have no filter. If they’re older, there’s a 33.3% chance it’s a cat video. Once, I couldn’t tell whether a guy was trying to ghost me or was just Gen-Z and only communicated via Euphoria memes. I’m not saying we should write off anyone by the memes that we share, but we likely could.
The internet and social media have hallowed out a lot of what it means to be present and happy in the modern day, but I do love memes. I think we should send them to boys we like and see if they laugh and disperse them amongst our friends and post ones that resonate or make us chuckle on our Instagram Stories writing things like, “OMG THIS!” There’s a lot of rough shit out there and I think that making the decision to spread mindless or dark or sexy or disturbing bits of humor via Microsoft Paint creations is an act of love.
THE EXPOSITION - story time
On March 21, I made this tweet. A pretty funny tweet, if I do say so myself and one even rooted in fact. “Touch my butt and buy me pizza” was a phrase that plagued the internet in the 2010’s until it was overblown to a point of mockery. And understandably so. It’s a good enough invitation – who doesn’t like both those things? But somehow their juxtaposition came to represent a sort of basic, cringy, needy lover, and honestly, I get it. As someone who suffers from lactose intolerancy, it’s just not plausible.
After making this tweet, I went on an unhinged late-night research session to try and trace down its etymology. I honestly thought I’d find at least some article from an edgy digital outlet tracing its roots but I made it three pages into Google without seeing anything but memes and a depressing array of “Touch my butt and buy me pizza”-engrained totes, shirts, and posters for sale.
I wanted to uncover whether someone ever said this in earnest and the internet had twisted it into parody or if its evokers had always been in on the joke. Unfortunately, the most I was able to surmise was it likely first appeared on Tumblr sometime between 2010 and 2012 and was probably reblogged by enough passive believers that it ended up on the radar of Etsy shop owners and mean meme makers alike.
I found it unsettling that I couldn’t trace its origins. To be fair, I didn’t try that hard. But it’s wild that a phrase can engrain itself so vividly in the online population’s psyche without having a clear originator, or like, being falsely attributed as a Marilyn Monroe quote or something. I don’t know what the takeaway is besides the internet is a massive space, memes contribute to our means of identifying the nuances of each other, and perhaps I do have this energy.
THE SOUNDTRACK - an eclectic mix of songs I’m grooving to
Hold No Grudge - Lorde: “Perhaps I should have given ‘Solar Power’ more credit.”
Absolutely (Story of a Girl) - Nine Days: “Go see ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’”
Pool - Still Woozy, Remi Wolf: “Two of alt-pop’s quirkiest describe their days like a diary entry and it’s sonic hipster poetry”
What Is Love - Correatown: “Found this gem from a Spotify playlist called ‘lo-fi sexy’”
Yuck - Charli XCX: “There’s nothing gay men love more than Charli XCX and calling each other alcoholics”
THE VISUALS - an unhinged onscreen opinion
I’m just going to call it: ‘The Dropout’ is the supreme scammer television series. It’s the Amanda Seyfried of it all, the subtle jokes and nuances of its writing, its juicy origin material, and its music choices. Thanks to what I assume was an enviable sized Hulu budget, the music supervisor (Maggie Phillips!) was able to nab these seminal early-2010s hits and place them in such perfect places that they were as much of the storytelling as the set, costume, and actors.
Of course Elizabeth Holmes would seduce Sunny Balwani in the Theranos office while “How to Love” by Lil Wayne plays. “Firework” by Katy Perry would be inescapable. There’s comedy to that and a tongue-in-cheek, self aware style that I think made this show so fun to watch. Don’t get me wrong – I love a good random pop song in the credits of a blockbuster film for the sole means of promotion (a censored version of “Big Energy” by Latto soundtracked the credits for Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum’s ‘The Lost City’ and it was hilariously out of place) but there’s something so refreshing about the attentive use of music as a means of storytelling.
It was a good reminder of why I will never discount a good pop song. I’ll admit – they are few and far between, but music has a powerful way to take us back to certain times and feelings. I think there’s a lot to be said for being able to tell chapters of our lives through who everyone else was listening to.
THE KICKER - everyone loves a good button
New York Dating Tip #4: Sometimes they’re just not worth it, babes.
This one is going to be controversial, especially coming from me because I LIVE for the slow burns, the Bennifers, the “After all this time? Always”s – I likely watched the How I Met Your Mother finale at too impressionable of an age. Life is simultaneously long and short, and I’ve seen enough of its turbulence to know firsthand that its path can bring you back to someone you never expected to end up with. I think that’s romantic and beautiful and usually… the exception to the rule.
Say whatever you want about moving on, but I truly believe some people stain your heart. Maybe you think the timing was wrong, or the location wasn’t ideal, or you really liked them, or they told you your eyes were pretty and no one ever notices that, or you’re just delusional. (Me? Never!) Some relationships just “hit different.” But just because someone makes a mark doesn’t necessarily mean they’re destined to be anything more than a lesson.
I think you really only get 2-3 good “What if”s. I’m not saying pine after them, but it’s probably alright if you stalk them on social media once a year if you’re single or their name briefly flashes through your mind when you hear “The One That Got Away” by Katy Perry if you’re in a relationship. Recognize the versions of whom you were when you were together were not compatible and there’s no knowing whether your future editions would be any better, unless destiny aligns. The guy who didn’t wear shoes when he walked you down the stairs to let you into his walk up? Don’t pick him. Someone who ghosted or insulted you? No. Life is not a rom-com and more often than not, break ups are finite, not foreshadowing a third act return. Unless they stage a dance flashmob apology, then maybe consider it.
XOXO